Letters from Lauryn: Is Maxwell Onto Something Here? The Meaning Behind the Music
Written by Lauryn Nwankpa
I, after moving across the country and having to commute to work 2 hours a day, have become increasingly dependent on my daily dose of Maxwell's new album Blacksummers'night. Although I often claim that many things are, "the story of my life," this particular piece of work is creepily reminiscent of many of the trials, lessons, feelings and emotions I found myself having recently. Of course it's not easy being young, black, (U of C) educated, single, "little fish in a big pond", the list goes on. And of course I do not claim to have some of the same burdens and trials as many other women in these tough economic times. But as I, reluctantly and uncontrollably, start to view my life in the same way as many other (black) women before us have done--in terms of several compartmentalized sections, each representing an arbitrary number of years, yet when added up equate to life passed, and things undone (marriage, kids, house, car, graduate degrees, etc.). Maxwell's words resonate with me even more and I wonder...Is he on to something here?
As I navigate the world, living as closely as I can to God, and trying to put good into the world, counting my blessings and not my burdens, loving myself and others around me even when it's hard to do so; I still can't shake the ever-present fear: will I be that woman who ultimately settles for less? I only pray, I am not alone in this fear, which, really is ridiculous seeing as though I am the one who would ultimately control that. However, as the years pass, I still find myself falling into the same patterns. Why? Love can be a beautiful thing, we all know this; yet, it has the power to turn some of the most beautiful, strong, smart women into fumbling, irritated, confused, and for lack of a better phrase "hot messes." I am no exception. Neither are you. And that brings me to Maxwell (bless his heart). He really is onto something here, I hate to say it but in some of his songs he sounds like a woman. Let me explain, in many of his lyrics, it seems as though he has put himself in the woman's stilettos, mind, and heart. Or maybe he just gets it. Maybe he truly understands what relationships can do to anybody, not just a woman. Ok, so I know I'm not a music critic, and maybe this has already been said/analyzed but humor me, please.
Maxwell Quote: "Don't worry, I'm standing still."(Track 1 Bad Habits)
My Thoughts: To me this says, "Do whatever you'd like, no worries, no matter what you do, I'll be here, waiting for you, until you're ready." As much as we'd all like to deny ever thinking/saying this whether in complete sincerity or with scathing sarcasm, the fact of the matter is we all have or will. But the real question becomes, why? Why are we standing still, preventing our own personal growth, happiness, and joy for someone who clearly, as demonstrated by actions, does not want those things for us? So how about we change this quote around a bit? "I'm not worried that you're standing still." Often, when people are stifled, unmoving, stuck, or close-minded they want to drag you down into that mess right with them. But, never you fret beautiful strong, black women, don't worry yourself with them if they're standing still. Keep moving yourself forward and ahead; the one you're supposed to be with will ultimately be moving right along and in stride with you.
Maxwell Quote: "I can be anything you want me to be, I just wanna love you. Let me be anything you want me to be, baby let me love you."(Track 6 Let Me Love You)
My Thoughts: In laymen terms this means, "I'll change myself for you, to be loved by you." HA! Don't do me! Change myself, for someone who is standing still (see above)? Let me make this clear, change in relationships is a beautiful and necessary thing. The key, however, is that you both are bringing about change in each other by bringing out the best in one another. Perhaps a more positive and inspiring message would be, "Let's grow together, let's love each other."
Maxwell Quote: "I go insane, crazy sometimes trying to keep you from losing your mind." (Track 7 Fistful of Tears)
My Thoughts: Have you ever heard of the saying, "You can't feed the hungry on an empty stomach." How can you keep someone else from going crazy when you're one foot in the crazy house yourself? You can't be a "Dr. Phil" for people when, you have your own issues to address. And, don't deny it, we all have issues. Ever heard of transference? If you have things you need to work out, you'll project those issues onto your significant other causing all types of drama and unhappiness. Be true to yourself and to your problems, only you (and God) can fix them.
Maxwell Quote: "Express disappointment, speak your regrets, yeah, or baby call out my name, I'll be where you are, I'll be very still, step down to my heart and mend this broken." (Track 8 Playing Possum)
My Thoughts: Communication, Communication, Communication. Some people major in communications, and still don't know how to communicate effectively. If only we all would speak our minds and hearts, no matter what the consequences. The days of being strung along, lied to, lying, cheating, disappointment and heartbreak would be over. Let's try this, for the year 2010, let's be honest. Keep me posted via blacklight, tell me how well it goes...
Also, why is it that we so often rely on the other person to "mend" our hearts for us? At the rate some people move, you'll need a pacemaker for sure. I know it hurts, and is seemingly impossible, but you can heal your own broken heart. The key is to be sure to always seek happiness in your life. Really, how heart broken can a happy person be?
Maxwell Quote: "All you got to do is just raise up, face up, stay up, all things will heal we'll feel it with a kiss from the skies" (Track 7 Fistful of Tears)
My Thoughts: How many times have you told (or wanted to tell) someone to man up? What exactly does that even mean though? My take on it is this: If you only would had faith, in yourself, God or in something, you'd realize that in the grand scheme of things, your life isn't that bad right now, and it takes a real man to have faith in himself and God, so please be a man. Maxwell, doesn't miss a beat with this line, he's got it in the bag. I won't even break it down any further, if you don't understand it, you will one day, hopefully...
So, that's all for now, although there were many more lines in this album to think about. I definitely recommend the album if you haven't already checked it out. This might not apply to you, but it surely was therapeutic for me.
Love, Peace, and Blessings.
Lauryn
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Lauryn N. Nwankpa is a graduate of the University of Chicago. She currently resides in Baltimore, Maryland.
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I guess my only thing here is why does Maxwell have to sound like a woman to have these feelings? Starting off with thinking that women exclusively go through this, or even go through it more than men. In my opinion many of the issues described in the lyrics start with us interpreting one another by gender first, by making assumptions about what one another are based on being men and women. The honesty and communication part is most important, if you start there without preconceived notions about who or what your man or woman is supposed to be and just go for the ride, then you always win, regardless of the outcome. You're taking everything your relationship has to offer with both hands